textured ceiling

how to get a texture ceiling:
Option A:
1) open can (this can take up to 10 mins, so be patient),
2) stir gritty thick stuff being careful not to break paint stirrer (option ..get a 2x2 to stir)
3) scoop into paint pan (can't pour...maybe glop)
4) roll special looped roller in texture paint...push hard
5) find a wall scrapper..evenly distribute gritty mess around roller that doesn't roll
6) apply to ceiling using a light touch at first to distribute texture
6a) swear
7) increase pressure on roller to push, shove, roll, and generally spread the grit
7a) more swearing may be in order
8) apply light pressure to even out all the different peaks of grit
9) wipe up floor where excess grit fell
Congratulations. You have just textured 1 square foot of your ceiling!
Repeat 1-9 until 12 x 12 ceiling is covered or until your arm falls off, your neck cramps, or you throw in the towel.

Option B: Hire someone