Thursday, March 5, 2009

Early Rising

DH woke me by slamming a door downstairs at 5:30 am. Now, 2 hours later, I am sitting in my robe, coffee is all most gone and cold, emails have been read, forums checked and answered. Just doing a little more procrastinating here before digging into either a) the china cupboard or b) the dining room desk. I start the dining room today in my trip around the house deep cleaning.
It's not been an noneducational time. Chatted with a friend from Australia about the differences in money, weights and measures, and in the value of old books. Googled 'Existentialism' to better understand and answer a post on another forum. Laughed over the differences and similarities in regional dialects.
I am struck again that, although we may be from different countries, states or regions, and have different values and ideas, we are all...when you get down to basics...very much alike. We all have wants and needs, all have joys and sorrows, frustrations in life and ways to handle those. We all desire someone to listen, to understand or sympathize, to laugh or cry with us. Sometimes we look for opinions, ask for ideas and solutions. But, more often, as women, we really are looking for an ear to hear and a hug to say it will be okay. Far too often, we find these in the virtual world with virtual shoulders to cry on, virtual hugs, and virtual pats on the back. Sadly, for many of us, gone are the days of the neighborhood coffee clatch and visits on the back porch. Often, we don't even know our neighbors. And yet, next door may be another lonely lady looking for the same things we are. I, personally, didn't even connect with a knitting group till I looked on the internet first...and then it was one person...now several..and we meet together. We live within a few miles of each other and still aren't really involved in each others lives like our mothers were with their friends and neighbors. In this modern world, our 'best friend' may be someone who lives a great distance from us and we have never met face to face. Modern technology has opened many doors for us, but have we let it shut many, too?
Would be interested in your feedback from this musing. Do you still have a 'best friend' you visit with often? Do you know your neighbors?

6 comments:

Audrey said...

Well said! I had known my neighbors when we lived in the other apartment in North NJ. But now in this new place; I've meet a few people, but they work and have so many different scheduals that coming together in person is a nightmare of planning.

This is even more so a problem for parents who work outside the home. Do you sacrefice time with your family to sit and have a cup of coffee with a friend. How do you tell your kids/spouse that you want some time with friends because you had a stressful week. Chances are they know and have shared this too.

The internet allows me to be with both; and not give one for the other.

And no, I would not know the face of my friends if I walked past them on the street.

Shanta Hayes said...

This was right on point this morning Ginny. I have a fascination with times gone past and look for that tangible human connection, but find it sorely lacking it current times. I belong to a Mommy group and even though we have common interest we don't gather all too often. Many of us work in some form or fashion and have the children to shuttle around.

I do however know my neighbors, but it is only due to much effort on my behalf. Most of them though are older than us and have children that are significantly older than ours, or none at all. However, I do something for about 10 families during the holidays, and try to make sure that I speak whenever I see them out and about.

The internet allows me to keep in touch with friends from school, seeing as we are all over the place.

Anonymous said...

How interesting that you posted on this subject today as it's been much on my mind, too.

My best friend died suddenly last year and I have yet to replace her. I don't think I can find a replacement in my neighborhood full of retirees, but I do know a couple of my neighbors. I'm more likely to talk to someone online, and I'm not so sure it's as good as having that special girlfriend to vent to. We are a product of our fast paced world and it's really sad.

I've been reading Fahrenheit 451 and remarking on the similarities to our lives today. It's scary how prescient Bradbury was!

I hope to change my own situation this Summer as I garden at the house I hope to make my home as I transition from a hamster in a corporate (although a small corporation) office to a telecommuter. I think we all need more IRL human connections.

KR said...

You make a lot of good points. I have met my neighbors, but there are tons of people in our "neighborhood" and maybe "that person" is just 3 doors down instead of 2.

I do have some good friends and getting together just helps to refresh me in so many ways. :)

Kristin

Ranger Jen said...

Funny, I just wrote a tiny little blurb in MY blog along a similar line: not know my neighbor. I'm new to the building, and we don't keep the same hours, but I always hear my neighbor come home. LOL

I just moved for work, and am a bit in the middle of nowhere. I love where I'm at, but I miss my SnB from Fort Collins, CO, badly! Every Tuesday, we'd talk, eat junk food - usually homemade - and compare projects and notes. I miss the face-to-face friendships that I had back there.

Your writing hit home!

Miss Bennet said...

Before we moved to Fargo, Mister and I had the loveliest neighbors. Four kids, good Christian mentors for us, utterly fantastic people. I miss them terribly. Here we have a small group of people we are slowly being accepted to, but they are not our neighbors. The closest thing is I know the girl who came to ask for an egg, and brought me one back later.

I desperately wish RTHer's lived down the street.